Christmas music needs to stop

Corey Allen

There are plenty of new movies, music, and tech coming out for the Christmas season; hopefully you all get some awesome gifts this Christmas! However, that is not the focus of this blog entry. Oh no. I’d like to focus on one of the absolute worst parts of the holiday season: Christmas music.

So I was listening in to a local rock station one morning in late November on my way to school. Cheech from “Cheech and Chong” interrupted my usual calming morning metal music. I honestly thought it was a commercial, but it was a painful five-plus minute rant on Cheech’s Christmas thoughts. In his usual stereotypical Hispanic voice, he ranted on Christmas. Following the spiel I heard another song called “Santa Claus,” which kicked off with the lead Ballad of Ozzy’s  “Iron Man” guitar riff.  Expecting the actual song, I was quickly disappointed when it turned out to be just another Christmas song about that fat bearded Santa we all know and love, which on principle is completely outlandish.

Santa lives as a hermit with a bunch of midgets in the far north making gifts all year which he can fly in a sleigh pulled by magic reindeer (the lead one has a glowing nose) and he breaks into people’s houses to please their children with his gifts and eat cookies and milk. No. That isn’t an icon, it’s a schizophrenic and a felon, skilled in breaking and entering as well as borderline pedophilia. Santa’s watching… creepy. “The Jolly Stalker” is what I affectionately refer to Santa as.

 Anyway, I hate that Christmas music is played basically from the time Thanksgiving ends to a few weeks after Christmas. All the songs are the same! They ALL have those annoying bells, with the same subject matter! STOP IT! I’ve heard enough “Jingle Bells” for a lifetime and a half. I’m sure I’m not the only person who thinks this. SO: If you’re a practicing musician! You should hook a brother up, and come up with an original, contemporary Christmas song. Of course not all Christmas songs are bad, but the fact that they are SO overplayed is utterly painful. So for the next few weeks, I’m ditching the cancer waves, and hooking up the good old fashioned CD player. I suggest my fellow haters do the same.