head2head: The Jersey Shore

Caitlyn Aakre and Nick Green, Staff Writers

Caitlyn Aakre: The Opposition

The only “situation” on Jersey Shore is a bad one.
Before I start, I think it’s important to know that I have watched the show. I have forced myself to sit through at least two or three full episodes of “Jersey Shore” on a network that claims they are “Music Television.”
Jersey Shore doesn’t relate to music, nor does any other show on the channel. Besides that the show promotes binge drinking, infidelity, and countless other sick things. Jersey Shore is far from tasteful or entertaining.
A group of twenty- somethings from New York (not New Jersey), Rhode Island (not New Jersey) and a girl from New Jersey (who has left the show for the remainder of the season, therefore making the house New Jersey-less) all live together in a house in Miami, Florida (not New Jersey) where they party every night and nurse their headaches when they wake up.
There is never a mention of anyone having a real job, except when Sammi “Sweetheart” and Angelina go to a place that represents a café and pretend to work while sitting and gossiping.
“I’ve never seen so many people with no talent make so much money,” history teacher Burke Allen said about the cast.
In fact, Amanda Thompson from www.associatedcontent.com reported that “The Situation” is supposed to make five million dollars this year, just for being on the show and promoting vodka.
Actually, it seems the whole cast might be getting paid to drink vodka. They sure do like their booze. Every night, they go clubbing and get mostly wasted.
“The Situation” or Vinny or any of the other boys might bring home a girl and hook up with them in the “smush” room.
“Good for you,” one of the boys, perhaps Ronnie, who I’ll get to later, tells “The Situation” after he hooks up with a random girl he met at the club.
When “The Situation” goes back into the “smush” room to wake up his prey from the night, he tells her: “I, um, got a taxi for you, baby” so she will get the hint to leave before the night is over. Wow, Mike is such a class act.
Back to Ronnie. The boy (I haven’t seen any evidence that is a real man) is the biggest on the show, perhaps from working out, perhaps from illegal substances, who am I to say?
Anyway, he was dating “Sweetheart” and while she was home sleeping, a rare activity for the cast to be doing at night, he was out in the club randomly making out with any girl he could find. He would then come home and tell “Sweetheart” he loved her and she would ask “Did you do anything?” and he would deny doing anything.
I believe this is called “cheating” and in today’s society, this isn’t usually something people look up to.
But for some reason, millions of people turn in every week to watch it happen to a poor girl who has no idea. Sick, America.
Vinny, a boy who recently turned 21, seems to be falling for a new girl every day and in the description box for one of the episodes says “word gets out that Vinny and Angelina hooked up, and Mike threatens to let Angelina’s new beau in on the secret… and later Pauly and Vinny fall for the same girl.”
Where to begin? Angelina had this new beau when she and Vinny hooked up. Again with the infidelity. But then the emotionally-disconnected Vinny falls for another girl within the same episode.
That’s the plot of every episode. The category of Jersey Shore should not be “reality” it should be “stupid”.
So if you’re one to enjoy television that has no substance and follow around people who don’t have meaningful lives, then Jersey Shore is definitely the show for you.

Nick Green: The Defendant

If American teenagers are in a moral freefall then MTV is that pesky parachute  that refuses to open. The once proud purveyor of music videos has become a sweatshop of the unoriginal and crass. “Jersey Shore”, a show about clubbing, drama, drinking, and GTL (to be addressed later) must seem like the last shovel full of dirt over the casket of adolescent innocence.
In reality, though, “Jersey Shore” finds in its delicate balance of absent minded boozing and what could generously be called promiscuity an almost endearing charm and a self awareness found in few scripted TV shows and even fewer reality shows.
Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is perhaps the most polarizing of the Shore’s cast, but where non-watchers see a self absorbed and vain alcoholic, those of us who know the truth see a funloving guidette who’s always Snookin’ for love.
“My ultimate dream is to move to Jersey, find a nice juiced hot tanned guy and live my life,” Snooki said.
In all seriousness, the amount of hate dumped upon the kids of the Shore, and Snooki in particular, is unwarranted and uninformed.
Many who haven’t seen the show view the cast as intellectual duds who can think of little more than gym, tan, and laundry, but whatever you think of these people you have to embrace their honesty.
Most reality shows are based upon destroying and humiliating people (often those most in need of help). Jersey Shore isn’t. The cast members know full well what they’re doing and truly just want to have fun.
Aside from Sammi and Ronnie, the members of the Shore are all pretty much awesome. From Vinny’s mild flickerings of intelligence to J-Woww ‘s feisty, if somewhat anger management worthy personality, these people are likeable.
Even with the fights and J-Woww’s throwing of plates, these kids have each other’s backs. From the time that jerk in the bar punched Snooki to the time that no good Miami girl broke Vinny’s heart these people are here for each other.
Those people who hate on these young club connoisseurs need to realize that living a life free of drama is cool for some but too chill for others.
Since when does being average allow people the license to pass moral judgement on young people, (well Mike’s kind of old) having a good time for a few months?
The drama and debauchery of Jersey Shore can become grating at times, but whenever it begins to get a little tiring Mike puts it all in perspective.
“You can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to somebody that looks like Rambo, pretty much, with his shirt off,” The Situation said.
Or if you’re not diggin’ what Mike’s layin’ down there’s always Snooki’s sage message of tolerance and multiculturalism.
“He’s Irish and he talks like a cowboy, and I always go for the Italian guys so it’s weird for me to like him,” Snooki said.
Now obviously this show is no “60 Minutes,” and it is not the kind of thing you want to watch with your parents, but it is genuinely enjoyable.
People take themselves way too seriously, whether you’re an indie kid who’s too cool to enjoy catchy pop tunes or a “suave sophisticate” too classy to degrade yourself by watching “Survivor”, we all need to grow up and enjoy the stupid things in life.
I definitely can see why people might find this show somewhat offensive or not entertaining, but that doesn’t mean that we have to collectively profess our hate for these human beings to prove how intelligent we are.
Why can’t we all just chill out and fuggedboutit.