A work in progress, that is what my life is. An ever changing series of events. It isn’t over yet and hopefully not for a while. I am a very different person than before, and unrecognizable to some. I changed fast and with power. With everything that has happened, I can only dream of what is to come. I have my beliefs now, but they will change. The uncertainty of the years and months to come, and even tomorrow leaves room for anything to happen. But for now, I believe a few things.   

I believe that I can change and so can my beliefs, so in a few years, this statement will be true and false at the same time. I believe a change is needed in the world.  I believe in my friendships. I believe people are equal, underneath the stigmas and stereotypes placed upon them.The people of Earth are so diverse that it’s impossible to say one is better.  I believe no matter how you act, feel, or who you are God loves you. Religion is often the foundation of many beliefs and many contradict each other. I don’t know everyone’s religion and I do not need to nor care to.  Even if it is the opposite of mine, I know that God loves them still. I believe God gives infinite chances for whatever reason one may need.

I believe I can change my mind at any point for any reason and no one should stop me.   I believe I don’t need anybody’s validation. I believe I can defy standards and expectations placed upon me. I believe in forgiveness. I believe that what I am doesn’t change me in God’s eyes, for I am the same as everybody else. I believe I am worth more than I will ever realize.

I believe everything happens for a reason, nothing is on accident.  Somewhere, down the line, it is going to matter to whoever experienced it.  I believe I met someone, not on a chance, no coincidence, but by the Grace of God.  Quite fitting considering her name is Grace. I believe that she came into my life when I needed her most, and I was in her’s when she needed me most.  I believe that my summer changed me forever.  I believe the small church, house in the woods, youth camp cabin, saved me more than any surgery ever would. I believe anyone can come back, and He will be waiting for them.

This is all fine and good until I start to wonder about  what I know. I can believe all I want, but the world wants me to know things.  Here is what I know and what I don’t. I know a change is needed in the world, but I don’t know if, when or how it will happen.  I believe in my friends, but do not know what will happen in the end. I know all people are equal in God’s eyes but not in the world’s. I know God loves me and everyone else, but I don’t know how to feel it or accept it.  I believe in forgiveness, but do not know how to give it. It is like a plain, yellow meadow, filled with possibilities of beauty but I have to plant the flowers. I know God gives chances, but I don’t know if I deserve them.  I know people’s validation doesn’t matter, but I still want it. I know I am capable of exceeding what I already am, but the shrinking person in me would like to disagree. I do not know that I am worth more, and some days I don’t even believe it.  I know my second family is best for me, I do not know if I am deserving of the charity they gave me.

I do not know a lot of things, but neither do many people.  Believing in something without proof or facts, is more important than knowing.  Facts are based on truth, evidence, but believing is trusting yourself. So yeah, I believe a lot of things but don’t know most of them.  But who needs to know when you have faith, it was given to us for a reason. So I choose to take a leap of faith and decide that what I believe, is more important than anything someone can tell me.